Disappointment

Ok, normally I don't open up emotionally to other people when it comes to private situations. Recently (about three weeks ago) Christi and I found out that she is pregnant. This was one of the happiest moments I have ever had in life. To give you some back ground I come from a somewhat large family, on my father’s side there are nine children and each one has, on average, three of their own children. On my mother’s side a little less, with four children averaging two kids each of their own. I have always wanted kids of my own and after Christi and I got married we planned on having two or maybe three kids of our own, but we also said that if we couldn’t have kids then we would deal with that situation if it ever came around. After being married for two years and unsuccessful at becoming pregnant, I had visited a fertility clinic to have a semen analysis. We got the results a week later and everything seemed to be normal. Now fast forward about five months later, and here we are pregnant! After finding out the good news we decided not to get too excited because we know that pregnancies can go wrong. So, we made an appointment with a doctor to confirm that Christi was pregnant and sure enough the results came back positive. We couldn’t help but get excited that the doctor confirmed the home pregnancy tests. The next step was to go and get an ultrasound to see how far along we were. (You can't help but be excited for someone when they are expecting, it’s such an amazing experience).

Our day comes and we leave in the morning to head to the doctor’s office to find out how far along in the pregnancy we are. We get to the office sit around waiting as patiently as one could be. They called our names and we went into a room to have the exam. Truth be told that was the worst experience I have ever had. The exam revealed a possible ectopic pregnancy. At that very moment our spirits were pretty much crushed, it wasn't one hundred percent clear but the doctor had a feeling that it was and wanted us to come back in a couple of days for a follow up. (Talk about an eternity.) The next couples of days were very hard emotionally and physically - by the time the next appointment came around we were dreading going for the follow-up exam. Going in and finding out that we could lose the life that had started growing is very difficult to accept. Now we are in the little room again and waiting for the second ultrasound exam. Christi and I both were feeling a bit strung out when the doctor came in to start the exam. After a few seconds of examining, the doctor found the growing embryo attached to the fallopian tube resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. (There it was, the worst news I have been told to date).

The doctor told Christi that she had to go into emergency surgery to remove the embryo before it burst open and possibly bleed to death. So now we have gone from bad news to worse. Christi was immediately admitted to the hospital, where they started prepping for surgery. At this point (not to take away from how Christi could have been feeling) I was feeling completely helpless - losing a baby and having my wife go into surgery. There was nothing that I could do to change anything. All I could do at that point was to be at her side to comfort her and pray that everything would go ok without any complications. We were then moved into another room where we would have to wait for an operating room to be available. We were told that we would have to wait one or two hours for the room (we actually had to wait five hours for the room). That was a long five hours of waiting, most of which we sat around in silence, and a little talking about what doctors and nurses were doing or saying while I was not permitted in the room. (And why do they do that, I would think that if you were able to stay out of the way and not interfere with anything your partner would need you there by their side for some support).

The time finally came for Christi to go into surgery, so I was told to say something of a comforting goodbye (just in case) and they took her off. I sat there in the waiting room all by myself (there were other people there, but we came alone not expecting having to go straight into emergency surgery) with thoughts racing through my mind - how is she, how is it going, is she having any reactions to medication? All that stress was making me feel very weak and tired (plus I had only slept a couple of hours that night) and it wasn't helping sitting in a chair not knowing what was going on. There was no communication that could lift my spirits or relieve some anxiety, there was just a room with a hand full of people watching TV and reading magazines. Some relief finally came when a phone rang in the room and someone walked over and picked it up, looked around and shouted out my name. I hurried over to the phone and spoke to a nurse, who said the surgery was over and that Christi would be waking up soon and the doctor would be coming to talk to me.

Apparently when Christi woke up she had a small reaction to the medication that was used to put her out, and they gave her a different medication for it and it put her out for another hour or so. In the meantime I still haven't seen her and was beginning to get impatient. I then was asked to hand the phone off to the next person so that they can notify them, I shouted out the next person’s name to hand the phone off to (it looked like everyone was on an assembly line). The phone was handed over from one person to the next and after talking to the nurse they were permitted to go and see their loved ones, while I had to wait once again. A few minutes later the doctor came out to talk to me while Christi was still out from the medication they gave her. She had told me that while the surgery went fine and they took out the left tube, it revealed that there were some further concerns. Christi's right tube was attached to her ovary and showed some scaring as a result from a previous infection. The doctor went further on by telling me some more bad news, there would only be a fifty percent chance of becoming pregnant again with a seventy five percent chance resulting in another ectopic pregnancy.

A short time later Christi woke up, at which time I was permitted to go and be with her. I told her what the doctor had revealed to me, as I watched her tear up and sad emotions come out. This was just way too much for us to bear in one day. Christi and I left for home a short while later. The next day the doctor had called to check up and set another appointment to talk to Christi and I together. After our appointment, we were left with only one safe way to have a baby, and that is to raise the money needed for Invitro.

Vacation vs. Life

Artur and I have discussed our new lifestyle with pretty much everyone in our lives. Our immediate family, our friends, our coworkers. As expected, the reactions have been mixed - some people are excited for us, while others either imply that we are making a mistake, or will be back "home" after our assignment. Maybe that latter reaction is our fault. I believe our description of the upcoming "adventure" gets mistaken by some as more of a vacation that a new choice of life.

I won't lie - neither of us knows what the future will bring, but that is the beauty of this adventure. Do I believe that we will be back in Illinois in November after this assignment - no way! Maybe we will be in Louisiana, maybe in Florida, or maybe we will make it across the country to Arizona. Will our job assignment be the same as this one - Christi running the campground store and registering visitors while Artur manages the necessary maintenance? I don't know. Maybe I will direct the resort activities while Artur sells RV spaces. Maybe Artur will be a bartender and I will be a waitress. Maybe we will take a month and help Habitat for Humanity build a house. Who knows? But we both believe that there will always be opportunities that we will happily accept in order to continiue this lifestyle.

Besides working, all of the other life components will still exist. This is our new life, not a two-week sidetrack that will eventually lead back to reality. We still have our bills that we need to pay. We will need to be conscious and considerate of, as well as involved with our families - I expect wedding invitations, college graduations, funerals, and other events that we will need to be a part of. Artur and I will still need to schedule doctor and dentist visits. We are actively investing and plan to continue to do so. And, we are young and still consider a family a possibility for our future.

For the naysayers, there is nothing we can do to convince them that our decision is a sound and solid one. Nor that it is one for the long-term. All we can do is move forward, be responsible, and make the choices that lead to a happy and meaningful life for us. If, in the end, people still think of our time as a "vacation", I guess that's no harm to us.....

Equipped and ready to roll

Making sure that you are well equipped with all the things you need and ready to hit the road with out dragging along dead weight can be challenging for someone just starting out. When you have a home you are prepared for most situations that may arise. But how much of that do you bring with you? Sure there are the basics, clothing, toiletries, linens, medicine / first aid. What do you do with all those extra possessions? Do you give them away, do have a garage sale, or pay for storing them with the expectation of returning to the lifestyle that you left behind? Being that we are not the typical full timing couple (24-31 years of age instead of retirees), we don't have our future set in stone. The fact that life throws many challenges your way through-out your existence, saying that you are going to do this and not anticipate having to change at a moments notice is unrealistic. So what do you bring along, what do you get rid of, and what are you anticipating?

As you know by now we have pared down our belongings and selected what we will bring along with us. Having decided to go fulltime RV-ing and not being the typical full timer, we wanted to chronicle our adventures and present them for everyone who may take a interest in what we are doing. To do this we are going to have to get some additional equipment or upgrade our current equipment in order to make decent quality video, audio, and pictures to share with you. We also wanted to make sure that it took up less space and weight.

The first thing that we decided to up grade is our computers. We used to have laptops, and then when they broke we bought a desktop (big regret). Now we switched back to laptops for convenience. They are smaller, lighter, and use less power - not to mention the most important thing, "portable". We chose the HP G60, it has all the parameters that we will need to make our computing faster and easier. However it does lack certain software, like Microsoft office student, and adobe premier element package, which we did have to purchase for photo/video editing and print shop 22 to create graphics and forms.

Upgrading our computer was the most important thing, but we also needed to upgrade other important components such as a digital camera and video recorder. We actually lucked out with the digital camera. This past Christmas my parents gave us a Nikon D40 digital camera that came in a package that included a camera bag, a two gigabyte memory card, and instructional DVD. I took a photograph class in college and after toying around with the camera, I realized that it was easy to use and simple to operate. On the other hand, the video recorder we did not have so I had to buy a new one. Today there are so many options available that it makes it much harder to choose a product and not wonder if you made the right choice. We didn't want something that was to big and bulky. So we opted for a small hand held SANYO digital recorder. It's not the most commercial/professional camera but it works.

There may be a few more things that we need to purchase down the road (no pun intended) to make better quality videos, but for now we have enough to get us started, and crank out our first program. Which we will start working on very soon. So stay tuned and keep an eye out for our first video episode.

Money on the Road

Christi and I have decided to start investing in the stock market so that our money can grow for our future needs, whatever that may be. Since the moment we decided to change our lives, and take a different approach to life, we have started thinking a lot about reducing the amount we want and need. We paired down our belongings - ex. clothing, furniture, books, electronics, etc. We also looked into ways to cut down on our expenses such as changing our cell phone plans to reflect the number of minutes we use instead of buying a sales price mega plan that we didn’t even come close to using. Once we finished reducing all of our belongings (including expenses) it hit us a bit harder, we have reduced our belonging but we have also reduced our income. Now we have a challenge of finding ways to inflate those numbers so that we won’t be living paycheck to paycheck and so we don’t stress out our selves. We wanted to do that without having to work an extra job while on assignment, and with minimum effort so that we could enjoy what we set out to do (explore this great nation). We took the first step by doing what we always do, and that’s hit the computers and pore over all the information that’s readily available to us that’s free and somewhat unbiased. We looked at other peoples blogs to see what they have done and if it had worked out well for them. Then we looked at financial websites to see what wisdom they can part on us. To be very clear, most of the reading on these topics are very dry and boring, it’s not like reading a Dilbert comic strip, or watching a bloopers video. At times I just wanted to beat my head into the wall, but I had to press on and get the info that we needed.

After fighting boredom for a couple of days we found some options that were interesting enough for further review. We looked at some CD's, high yield savings accounts, p2p (person to person) lending sites, treasury bonds, and the stock market. We didn’t want to tie up our money into anything that would be difficult to pull back out, and possibly lose some of the principal. After looking at p2p site we were quite intrigued with the concept of becoming a lending institution but we ruled it out. This is something for people who have built a bit more of a safety cushion with their money (it’s not to say you need a lot of money, this type of investing has a higher rate of risk especially with people losing jobs, homes foreclosing, and markets being shaky. We decided on sticking to the basics - Wall Street. Although the economy is a little tough it will bounce back, and there are tons of great deals out there now for all you bargain hunters and sales shoppers. Plus if you do a little research and stick with companies that can weather the storm because their principals are good and their balance sheets are healthy, you should be able to make gains on the day to day and be happy when the market turns.

We looked at a few online investment sites and ended up choosing to do our investing with E*TRADE. They have easy to understand and use features for research, trading ideas, and execution of trades. Easy account following - seeing balance, where you invested, live gains /losses, and analyzers. We liked what they had to offer. We took advantage of a promotion and signed up while they were running one hundred commission-free trades. And already in this market we are seeing returns and we couldn't be any happier with our experience with E*TRADE.

Anxiously Awaiting

Anxiety is defined by Wikipedia as, "a psychological and physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional and behavioral components", which is exactly relevant to what I am experiencing as I await the day we leave Illinois for our assignment in Pennsylvania. As the days draw nearer I have been experiencing more and more anxiety. My anxiety has both positive and negative attributes in its characteristic, but weighing in more on positivity.

The fact that we have been guests at my parents’ house for the last 6 months is probably a big factor that is contributing to the anxiety. Although the house is big and can accommodate quite a few people comfortably, we have decided to stay out of sight and out of mind, venturing out only to walk the dogs, get a bite to eat, go to work, or just get some fresh air when things become too claustrophobic. Our room is about 275 square feet with an attached full bathroom (small but sufficient). So our keystone sprinter (35ft) will be a wonderful castle fortified by the great outdoors. The time spent at the house allowed us to put some money away, and visit some family near by in Michigan.

Another contributor to our anxiety is the economic downturn and the unemployment rate rocketing upwards. Although Christi and I and haven't been hit as hard as some of you may have been, we have noticed the changes. Myself, working in the construction industry, I have noticed the slowdown in the industry. People waiting until the last minute to make repairs, choosing cost friendly remodels, and increased negotiation on project pricing. We have never been the couple that spent a lot of money, and with this downturn we were able to trim the fat off the turkey a bit more and reduce our expenses further. Such as downgrading our cell phone plans, paying off any revolving balances on our credit cards, planning our trips out to eliminate wasteful driving, and switching our savings account to a higher interest on-line savings accounts.

What I am most anxiously awaiting on the road is working with companies that are in the vacation industry. Although we will be cutting our income, we will not bear the responsibility of running our own business or running someone else's. And furthermore we will be around people that will be having fun vacationing, which is very pleasant to be around because people are more relaxed, talkative, and overall enjoyable when taken out of their stressful daily lives. We are looking forward to surrounding ourselves with new fun and friendly people, and bringing our experiences to new people and places.

My Preparation

We have about a month and a half before Artur and I make our move to full-time RVing. I've been thinking about this post since my last post (perhaps 2 weeks or more?), but its been difficult to sit down and draft it. This just feels like one of those opportunities that could be "jinxed" by talking about it. Sounds a bit silly, but I've become so excited by this prospect, that I'm concerned every step closer to leaving that I take, it will make it that much less likely to actually happen. But enough of that....

In my mind, I've come up with 2 sets of preparation that I need to do before we head out on our adventure. The first set includes downsizing:

• Sell/donate all extra clothes that are unnecessary to our new lifestyle.
• Scan into our computer all important financial information, and dispose of file cabinet.
• Sell/donate all kitchen utensils that won't fit in our smaller kitchen.

As we have lived in the RV previously, we have a good idea of what is truly needed, and what will be in the way. Additionally, as we've resided temporarily in my in-laws house for the past 6 months, we don't have large item (couch, dresser, etc) that we need to sell or donate.

The second set of preparations that we need to accomplish include making our new life simpler, comfortable, and streamlined.

• Make plans for additional shelving and an ottoman - Artur will build.
• Plan for some gardening - outside potted plants and upside-down tomato planter, indoor herb garden.
• Purchase small grill/press - allow cooking savings - and swap for smaller crockpot.
• Assemble recipes for homemade household cleaners.

I'm sure there are quite a few more tasks for us to accomplish before we hit the road, but the above is on the forefront of my mind. I look forward to being able to check each item off my list and further grow the idea of a simpler, less stressful and more satisfying life.